lowering my standards for a moment...

lowering my standards for a moment...

by M. on Saturday, February 7, 2009 at 6:33am

The name fits in more ways than one, your selfish opinions on how a life should be lived. Love is about compromise, something you saw as impossible.

I, for one, have moved on with my life, something that (obviously judging by your recent "note") you have found a little harder to accomplish. Never in my life have I spoken ill of you, nor of how or why things played out as they did,never did I feel the need to express your flaws to the community. You, however, in your adolescent world feel the need to "broadcast" your life to every person here and there, I guess you really do bring your work home with you. You try to break me down, you try to think you're better than me, who's alone right now? Who is wallowing in their own "self-pity" about what has ensued. Contrary to what you think, I don't want you, I don't miss you, I don't wish we were back together, and I KNOW I can do way better than a self-absorbed, neurotic pseudo-philosopher.

You call me the little girl, the one who chose to leave something private as something private, when you are so stuck in your petty beliefs and inferences that you cannot even say fucking happy birthday? Or inquire as to why someone is feeling the way they are feeling? Unfortunately for all of us in our right minds, friendship's limits extends from facebook, just because you're listed does not make you a true friend.

You have no idea the person I am, was or have become, you couldn't even WRAP around your mind the idea of a women and what she needs or how she feels. You dug your own grave, you create the playwright to which we all act, and instead of letting bygones be bygones, you trash someone you claimed to always care about.

I hope you do see me, while you're drowning in your own misery, blissfully unaware of how great I am doing--contrary to your own bitter inferences.

So instead of wasting the majority of your time and thoughts bashing me to people you know, and people you "add" just because you can, use that time to improve the person you've become, and quit worrying about the person I have become.

Sincerely,
Ms. Hell-raiser.

C

played like violins, we all move along...

by o on Saturday, December 13, 2008 at 10:47pm

Like a worn out fiddle
crimson and gold
and lost thoughts
which parade in those moments
which we all felt alive;

patches gray and gracious
meander in my mind
as a search for a meaning
to those words of hopefulness
and truth;
who ever wanted to hear those
soft words anyway
when you've never been the first-picked girl.

your eyes burn into me;
as if the heat is supposed to light
a lie which I refused to accept.
but with each struggle, hurt and heartache
comes a new rebirth of something greater.

I see colors divided from pigments indescribable
I feel in warmth in an emptiness
of being the unknown
I want what others need
I deserve what some require.


Streetlights have no meaning to me
heaven is just a stopping place
for what the earth truly prescribes for us all

I believe in fate; and a greater purpose in life than
to be waiting for the day
to be found good enough
to not be the fiddle, but to be the harp.

Delicate; cherished; fawned over
I feel it coming,
I wait in silence until that day...
until I am the harp, as with all the fiddles
I move along
from you..

memories...

a whole new way of thinking...

by r on Saturday, October 4, 2008 at 1:41pm

I had an epiphany...
What if, by some chance, we don't get everything we want?

Shocked? Yes, I am too. But really, parents have always told us: "If you try hard enough, you can accomplish anything."

What if that isn't true. What if, by some weird unexpected circumstance, some green fairy we'll call muffin steals your freakin' dream. After every 'new beginning', after every moment of hard work and glory, this little pipsqueak named muffin runs up, kicks you in your butt, grabs your dream straight out of your noggin, and runs away, screaming his heinous laugh.


Enough about Green Fairies, mostly this post is to say, not everyone is going to get want they want, sorry all you 231224 kids who want to be president, logically, there will only be oh, about 10 if that of you who may have a shot at that at your respected lifetimes.


Maybe this isn't societies fault, maybe its my parents. No I cannot be the first female president/ egg juggler/ ruler of the moon etc.


Maybe I CAN'T get what I want; OR maybe I'll just pretend to want, what I can get.



Thats my golden ticket, Wonka, show me to the gates...

just another crazy thing..

just another crazy thing..

by g on Friday, February 6, 2009 at 9:03pm

I lay sleepless in bed
looking at stars
pondering life, and what we are

I sing "dum dums", hum "num nums"
in every which way,
I dabble and doodle, for most of the day

I rarely take notice of your point of view
I guess its just one of those things
crazy lovers do.

I skip and I worry, I fret and I fray
I curse and I shun, I forgive and I pray

but you know I would give up anything, anyone
if you asked me to...

but its just another crazy thing
crazy lovers do.


life's to short to hold grudges
too precious to hide
too crazy to be serious
too logical for abuse

highs only cover up those things
trying to meander along;
if you need me day or night,
you know I'm there for you...

I smile when you let me
and I'd love to pass the time
I'd even sit through family guy
if you'd lie and say you're mine.

but we're all a little crazy
when waiting for tea for two,

but even nonsense written on pages
can make sense from a birds eye view.

I'm not a poet, a lyricist, Just a silly little thing

a memoir for no body.

by an on Saturday, August 9, 2008 at 2:02pm

its absolutely amazing how so much can be
erased in moments, a single second.
like they couldn't stand to be reminded
of what had happened;
all I see are holes
not counting the pressure that now fills
what used to be something so amazing
its crazy, I'm crazy
for hoping and praying and keepsaking
something I held so dear for so long
while he washes away it all with one quick
delete
I must have missed that song
with melodies of remorse
with those feelings of 'someday'
with every glimmer of hope and care
and faith and love
its not in the cards
maybe there will be another chance.
this was our second, maybe third
who's counting?
all I know is I can't just click the 'remove'
button, and throw away every note, every letter
every smile, every dream, every hope
they don't have a 'delete this message' on ones memory
they don't have a reset for every hug

this girl doesn't know why she builds herself up
just to be dropped down, picked up again.



i need something else.